2017 Weekly Power Rankings!

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2017 Weekly Power Rankings!

Post by TomAshe on Fri Aug 25, 2017 12:21 am

Hey all!

Chad has offered to do weekly power rankings (THANKS CHAD!) every week.  This is also the man who went out and got our trophy.  He deserves to be showered with love for adding quality to this league.

Come back here every week to get your news on the up and coming teams and see your place in the fold.  Shit talking, criticisms, and shout outs are welcomed with open arms.


Last edited by TomAshe on Tue Aug 29, 2017 11:29 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Year in Title)


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Post by Chad Buck on Tue Aug 29, 2017 8:26 am

Okay boyos, here goes the first ever ball and chain power rankings, accounting for the 2017 preseason leading up to week 1. I'll get better at this I promise, but here's my first whack at the lay of the land in 2017:

1. Boring Orgy
Proj. lineup: Russell Wilson - David Johnson - Melvin Gordon - Brandin Cooks - Keenan Allen - Allen Robinson - Greg Olsen - Sebastian Janikowski - Cardinals

The 2016 leader in PF and optimum PF, Eric will look to ride David Johnson and co all the way to a repeat birth in the championship game. Losing Julian Edelman to season-ending injury hurts, but his loss is mitigated by the depth stacked up at WR on the team. The ceiling for the 2016 runner-up is sky high, and looks to be for years to come.

2. The Poop Troop
Proj. lineup: Drew Brees - Jordan Howard - Carlos Hyde - Antonio Brown - T.Y. Hilton - Travis Kelce - Rob Gronkowski - Caleb Sturgis - Chiefs

Last year's 4th place finisher yet again rolls into 2017 with a contender. Boasting an elite WR and TE corps starring Antonio Brown and Rob Gronkowski, Tom has nicely complemented his elite talent with very capable running backs in Jordan Howard and Carlos Hyde. Replacing Andrew Luck at QB is fantasy mainstay Drew Brees; The Poop Troop looks to stay healthy in 2017 en route to divisional and championship contention.

3. Walrus Fight
Proj. lineup: Marcus Mariota - Demarco Murray - Lamar Miller - Dez Bryant - Doug Baldwin - Alshon Jeffery - Jimmy Graham - Stephen Gostkowski - Patriots

After a disappointing end to a strong 2016 campaign, Walrus Fight aims to right wrongs and make another playoff run in 2017. Finishing 2nd and 3rd in PF and optimum PF in 2016, respectively, the team returns its veteran core in an attempt to defend its 2016 divisional crown. While somewhat lacking in elite high end talent, the roster is layered with quality pieces throughout and looks to supply the highest floor in the league in lieu of its not-quite-as-high ceiling.

4. Unstackable Cups
Proj. lineup: Tom Brady - Dalvin Cook - Rob Kelley - Odell Beckham Jr - Jordy Nelson - Michael Thomas - Tyler Eifert - Cairo Santos - Broncos

The 2015 champion looks to bounce back to form in 2017. Don has assembled unequivocally the most WR talent in the league, to go with the strongest defense and a guy called Tom Brady. Don selected Dalvin Cook with the 6th pick in the rookie draft, a big first step towards building up his RB crew. Unstackable Cups finished 2nd in optimum PF for 2016; surely the team aims for a playoff spot in 2017.

5. The Frothy Cocks
Proj. lineup: Jameis Winston - Le'Veon Bell - Jay Ajayi - Mark Ingram - Mike Evans - Demariyus Thomas - Jack Doyle - Brandon McManus - ??? def

With the 2016 trophy in hand, the defending ball and chain champions return with a strong team. Le'Veon Bell Cow looks to deliver as usual, while Jay Ajayi would do very well indeed to repeat his 2016 performance. Mike Evans headlines this WR troop - having high end talent like Bell and Evans should lead the Cocks to success for years to come, while questions at flex and TE linger. The Frothy Cocks finished 2016 ranked 3rd in PF and 5th in optimum PF.

6. Quantum Baby
Proj. lineup: Cam Newton - LeSean McCoy - Devonta Freeman - A.J. Green - Michael Crabtree - Thomas Rawls - Jordan Reed - Matt Bryant - Bucs

An underperforming Cam Newton and injured Jordan Reed did Quantum Baby no favors in 2016. Despite finishing last in its division in 2016, the team nonetheless finished 5th in PF and 4th in optimum PF. The team also finished 0-2 in "close" games and 1-4 in "luck" games per fleaflicker, indicative of a strong team that perhaps underperformed. With great RBs and A.J. Green, the ceiling is undeniably high for Quantum Baby in 2017.

7. Nacho Libres
Proj. lineup: Dak Prescott - Ezekiel Elliott - Leonard Fournette - Sammy Watkins - Emmanuel Sanders - Kelvin Benjamin - OJ Howard - Dan Bailey - Vikings

Losing Zeke to suspension hurts. The second year RB in tandem with incoming rookie Leonard Fournette form a young duo that will surely devastate for years to come. Dak will look to continue to impress, while Dan Bailey and the Vikings should provide consistent production at K and D/ST.

8. The Pessimistics
Philip Rivers - Christian McCaffery - Terrance West - Julio Jones - Deandre Hopkins - Golden Tate - Martellus Bennett - Josh Lambo - Seahawks

Stephen took a step in the right direction in taking Christian McCaffery with the #1 pick in the 2017 rookie draft. He'll look to complement McCaffery with another able runner as the season progresses. Juiio, Hopkins, and Tate is no joke of a WR corps and The Pessimistics will no doubt threat to upset the established order in 2017 with a team that boasts a surprisingly high ceiling.

9. Talking Bout Practice?!
Proj. lineup: Matt Ryan - Todd Gurley - Isaiah Crowell - Joe Mixon - Amari Cooper - Larry Fitzgerald - Kyle Rudolph - Greg Zuerlein - Texans

First year owner Kevin takes over a squad that looks to have long term potential featuring Todd Gurley, Joe Mixon, and Amari Cooper, among others. With vets such as Matt Ryan, Crowell, and Larry Fitzgerald along for another ride, TBP?! could surprise.

10. Balls Deep in Mac and Cheese
Proj. lineup: Aaron Rodgers - Kareem Hunt - Marlon Mack - Corey Davis - Jamison Crowder - Martavis Bryant - Austin Hooper - Jason Myers - Ravens

Trust the process. After trading for 6 of the first 13 rookie draft picks, Balls Deep in Mac and Cheese looked at the 2017 draft and pushed all of its chips into the middle of the table. With highlights including Kareem Hunt, Corey Davis, Zay Jones, and David Njoku, Tim hopes to ride these rooks all the way to the trophy in 2019 and beyond!

Chad Buck

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Post by Chad Buck on Tue Sep 12, 2017 9:01 am

What a week of fantasy football in week 1. With rookie explosions, tons of stud duds, and injuries galore, the scene is set for a lively week 2. Here locally in the Ball and Chain league, we enjoyed four competitive displays of FF mastery to go with a gigantic KAREEM PIE suffered by yours truly.

1. The Poop Troop
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 2 (up 1)
Eked out a 97.94-93.28 victory over The Frothy Cocks to go with 129.65 optimum PF, good for 2nd and 3rd in the league respectively. The way Tom's points were scored seem very replicable for an entire season, and he has candidates for positive regression as the season progresses in Gronkowski, Brees, TY Hilton (with a healthy Luck) and Sammy Watkins.

2. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 5 (up 3)
Nearly pulled the upset over #1 despite having Jameis Winston, Mike Evans, and Jay Ajayi unavailable to due Hurricane Irma. With a dominant Le'Veon Bell devastating fantasy matchups all but guaranteed going forward, the Frothy Cocks loom large as a contender in 2017.

3. Unstackable Cups
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 4 (up 1)
Having an embarrassment of riches at one position can be maddening at times, as demonstrated by Don's bench getting blown the FUCK UP by wide receivers in week 1. Tom Brady and Michael Thomas should be studs going forward, and Dalvin Cook dazzled in week 1. This team looks incredibly stout top to bottom and is an RB away from being likely league favorites.

4. Boring Orgy
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 1 (down 3)
Narrowly defeating a division rival 96.52-93.04 should be a cause for celebration, but this was the definition of a Pyrrhic victory. A wrist injury to David Johnson and season-ending ACL injury to Allen Robinson are devastating. With great depth at WR still stacked on the roster in Thielen and Cooks and likely positive regression from Russell Wilson, the cupboard is far from bare. However the 2017 title hopes for Boring Orgy have always been riding on DJ's absurd output, and his availability will be the burning question going forward for the preseason favorite.

5. Quantum Baby
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 6 (up 1)
QB offered up a very replicable 93 PF (106 optimum) in week 1's loss to rival Boring Orgy. AJ Green, Jordan Reed, and Cam Newton look primed for success in 2017 and this should be of ample utility to Anthony's team. Lesean McCoy looks like he will get 40 damn touches a game in buffalo, and Gillislee could have a season mirroring Legarette Blount's 2016 campaign in New England.

6. The Pessimistics
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 8 (up 2)
Failed to start a K that plays in the NFL in week 1 (shame...shame...shame...) and still beat Unstackable Cups with 89.8 PF (116.76 optimum). Julio Jones, Deandre Hopkins, and Golden Tate round out a legit receiving corps; overall #1 rookie pick Christian McCaffrey was not unimpressive in week 1. The opportunity is there for The Pessimistics in a winnable division 2.

7. Talkin Bout Practice?!
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 9 (up 2)
TBP edged the dakstreet boys 93.14-90.42 in week 1; 115.84 optimum PF was 4th for the week. The team was rather impressive in an unimpressive week 1: none of its starters' performances in week 1 feel unsustainable, and positive regression from a great Houston D/ST seems likely. The team boasts a nice cadre of RBs in Todd Gurley, Tevin Coleman, Joe Mixon and Isaiah Crowell - the team looks built for future success in 2017 and beyond. Amari Cooper looks ready to breakout in 2017; additional WR depth could push TBP forward.

8. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 7 (down 1)
With a suspension to Zeke potentially entirely thrown out for 2017 and a star debut from Leonard Fournette in week 1, the Dakstreet Boys are staking their claim to the #1 dynasty backfield in the Ball and Chain league. The tandem are sure to deliver for years to come for the Dakstreet Boys, who now look to work on their WR corps in their quest for the top.

9. 4 Skin Turtleneck T-Shirts
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 10 (up 1)
The KHunt was thirsty to impress in week 1, and impress he did in shooting a big ole Kareem Pie in Walrus Fight to the tune of 45.1 points. He also set the NFL record for scrimmage yards in a rookie debut. Wow. However 144.46 PF (181.18 optimum), both 1st by far, seemingly occurred unsustainably. 45 points is obviously not going to be the norm, and neither is 23.8 from Austin Hooper nor 25 from the Ravens D/ST. Despite huge rookie production in the starting lineup and on the bench in Hunt, Mack and Kupp, 4STT seem likely victims of negative regression to the mean in 2017.

10. Walrus Fight
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 3 (down 7)
After talking a big game of high floors in week 1, Walrus Fight caked its collective fucking pants in week 1 to the tune of 69.64 PF (100.44 optimum), good for last in the league for both categories. With rushing TDs from Marcus Mariota and Devonta Freeman providing the only endzone grinding in the Walrus Fight starting lineup, we've had the pleasure now of seeing what happens when every god damn starter on a team gets donkey punched in the dick.

Chad Buck

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