2017 Weekly Power Rankings!

Hey all!

Chad has offered to do weekly power rankings (THANKS CHAD!) every week.  This is also the man who went out and got our trophy.  He deserves to be showered with love for adding quality to this league.

Come back here every week to get your news on the up and coming teams and see your place in the fold.  Shit talking, criticisms, and shout outs are welcomed with open arms.


Tom
Commissioner

Okay boyos, here goes the first ever ball and chain power rankings, accounting for the 2017 preseason leading up to week 1. I'll get better at this I promise, but here's my first whack at the lay of the land in 2017:

1. Boring Orgy
Proj. lineup: Russell Wilson - David Johnson - Melvin Gordon - Brandin Cooks - Keenan Allen - Allen Robinson - Greg Olsen - Sebastian Janikowski - Cardinals

The 2016 leader in PF and optimum PF, Eric will look to ride David Johnson and co all the way to a repeat birth in the championship game. Losing Julian Edelman to season-ending injury hurts, but his loss is mitigated by the depth stacked up at WR on the team. The ceiling for the 2016 runner-up is sky high, and looks to be for years to come.

2. The Poop Troop
Proj. lineup: Drew Brees - Jordan Howard - Carlos Hyde - Antonio Brown - T.Y. Hilton - Travis Kelce - Rob Gronkowski - Caleb Sturgis - Chiefs

Last year's 4th place finisher yet again rolls into 2017 with a contender. Boasting an elite WR and TE corps starring Antonio Brown and Rob Gronkowski, Tom has nicely complemented his elite talent with very capable running backs in Jordan Howard and Carlos Hyde. Replacing Andrew Luck at QB is fantasy mainstay Drew Brees; The Poop Troop looks to stay healthy in 2017 en route to divisional and championship contention.

3. Walrus Fight
Proj. lineup: Marcus Mariota - Demarco Murray - Lamar Miller - Dez Bryant - Doug Baldwin - Alshon Jeffery - Jimmy Graham - Stephen Gostkowski - Patriots

After a disappointing end to a strong 2016 campaign, Walrus Fight aims to right wrongs and make another playoff run in 2017. Finishing 2nd and 3rd in PF and optimum PF in 2016, respectively, the team returns its veteran core in an attempt to defend its 2016 divisional crown. While somewhat lacking in elite high end talent, the roster is layered with quality pieces throughout and looks to supply the highest floor in the league in lieu of its not-quite-as-high ceiling.

4. Unstackable Cups
Proj. lineup: Tom Brady - Dalvin Cook - Rob Kelley - Odell Beckham Jr - Jordy Nelson - Michael Thomas - Tyler Eifert - Cairo Santos - Broncos

The 2015 champion looks to bounce back to form in 2017. Don has assembled unequivocally the most WR talent in the league, to go with the strongest defense and a guy called Tom Brady. Don selected Dalvin Cook with the 6th pick in the rookie draft, a big first step towards building up his RB crew. Unstackable Cups finished 2nd in optimum PF for 2016; surely the team aims for a playoff spot in 2017.

5. The Frothy Cocks
Proj. lineup: Jameis Winston - Le'Veon Bell - Jay Ajayi - Mark Ingram - Mike Evans - Demariyus Thomas - Jack Doyle - Brandon McManus - ??? def

With the 2016 trophy in hand, the defending ball and chain champions return with a strong team. Le'Veon Bell Cow looks to deliver as usual, while Jay Ajayi would do very well indeed to repeat his 2016 performance. Mike Evans headlines this WR troop - having high end talent like Bell and Evans should lead the Cocks to success for years to come, while questions at flex and TE linger. The Frothy Cocks finished 2016 ranked 3rd in PF and 5th in optimum PF.

6. Quantum Baby
Proj. lineup: Cam Newton - LeSean McCoy - Devonta Freeman - A.J. Green - Michael Crabtree - Thomas Rawls - Jordan Reed - Matt Bryant - Bucs

An underperforming Cam Newton and injured Jordan Reed did Quantum Baby no favors in 2016. Despite finishing last in its division in 2016, the team nonetheless finished 5th in PF and 4th in optimum PF. The team also finished 0-2 in "close" games and 1-4 in "luck" games per fleaflicker, indicative of a strong team that perhaps underperformed. With great RBs and A.J. Green, the ceiling is undeniably high for Quantum Baby in 2017.

7. Nacho Libres
Proj. lineup: Dak Prescott - Ezekiel Elliott - Leonard Fournette - Sammy Watkins - Emmanuel Sanders - Kelvin Benjamin - OJ Howard - Dan Bailey - Vikings

Losing Zeke to suspension hurts. The second year RB in tandem with incoming rookie Leonard Fournette form a young duo that will surely devastate for years to come. Dak will look to continue to impress, while Dan Bailey and the Vikings should provide consistent production at K and D/ST.

8. The Pessimistics
Philip Rivers - Christian McCaffery - Terrance West - Julio Jones - Deandre Hopkins - Golden Tate - Martellus Bennett - Josh Lambo - Seahawks

Stephen took a step in the right direction in taking Christian McCaffery with the #1 pick in the 2017 rookie draft. He'll look to complement McCaffery with another able runner as the season progresses. Juiio, Hopkins, and Tate is no joke of a WR corps and The Pessimistics will no doubt threat to upset the established order in 2017 with a team that boasts a surprisingly high ceiling.

9. Talking Bout Practice?!
Proj. lineup: Matt Ryan - Todd Gurley - Isaiah Crowell - Joe Mixon - Amari Cooper - Larry Fitzgerald - Kyle Rudolph - Greg Zuerlein - Texans

First year owner Kevin takes over a squad that looks to have long term potential featuring Todd Gurley, Joe Mixon, and Amari Cooper, among others. With vets such as Matt Ryan, Crowell, and Larry Fitzgerald along for another ride, TBP?! could surprise.

10. Balls Deep in Mac and Cheese
Proj. lineup: Aaron Rodgers - Kareem Hunt - Marlon Mack - Corey Davis - Jamison Crowder - Martavis Bryant - Austin Hooper - Jason Myers - Ravens

Trust the process. After trading for 6 of the first 13 rookie draft picks, Balls Deep in Mac and Cheese looked at the 2017 draft and pushed all of its chips into the middle of the table. With highlights including Kareem Hunt, Corey Davis, Zay Jones, and David Njoku, Tim hopes to ride these rooks all the way to the trophy in 2019 and beyond!

What a week of fantasy football in week 1. With rookie explosions, tons of stud duds, and injuries galore, the scene is set for a lively week 2. Here locally in the Ball and Chain league, we enjoyed four competitive displays of FF mastery to go with a gigantic KAREEM PIE suffered by yours truly.

1. The Poop Troop
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 2 (up 1)
Eked out a 97.94-93.28 victory over The Frothy Cocks to go with 129.65 optimum PF, good for 2nd and 3rd in the league respectively. The way Tom's points were scored seem very replicable for an entire season, and he has candidates for positive regression as the season progresses in Gronkowski, Brees, TY Hilton (with a healthy Luck) and Sammy Watkins.

2. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 5 (up 3)
Nearly pulled the upset over #1 despite having Jameis Winston, Mike Evans, and Jay Ajayi unavailable to due Hurricane Irma. With a dominant Le'Veon Bell devastating fantasy matchups all but guaranteed going forward, the Frothy Cocks loom large as a contender in 2017.

3. Unstackable Cups
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 4 (up 1)
Having an embarrassment of riches at one position can be maddening at times, as demonstrated by Don's bench getting blown the FUCK UP by wide receivers in week 1. Tom Brady and Michael Thomas should be studs going forward, and Dalvin Cook dazzled in week 1. This team looks incredibly stout top to bottom and is an RB away from being likely league favorites.

4. Boring Orgy
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 1 (down 3)
Narrowly defeating a division rival 96.52-93.04 should be a cause for celebration, but this was the definition of a Pyrrhic victory. A wrist injury to David Johnson and season-ending ACL injury to Allen Robinson are devastating. With great depth at WR still stacked on the roster in Thielen and Cooks and likely positive regression from Russell Wilson, the cupboard is far from bare. However the 2017 title hopes for Boring Orgy have always been riding on DJ's absurd output, and his availability will be the burning question going forward for the preseason favorite.

5. Quantum Baby
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 6 (up 1)
QB offered up a very replicable 93 PF (106 optimum) in week 1's loss to rival Boring Orgy. AJ Green, Jordan Reed, and Cam Newton look primed for success in 2017 and this should be of ample utility to Anthony's team. Lesean McCoy looks like he will get 40 damn touches a game in buffalo, and Gillislee could have a season mirroring Legarette Blount's 2016 campaign in New England.

6. The Pessimistics
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 8 (up 2)
Failed to start a K that plays in the NFL in week 1 (shame...shame...shame...) and still beat Unstackable Cups with 89.8 PF (116.76 optimum). Julio Jones, Deandre Hopkins, and Golden Tate round out a legit receiving corps; overall #1 rookie pick Christian McCaffrey was not unimpressive in week 1. The opportunity is there for The Pessimistics in a winnable division 2.

7. Talkin Bout Practice?!
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 9 (up 2)
TBP edged the dakstreet boys 93.14-90.42 in week 1; 115.84 optimum PF was 4th for the week. The team was rather impressive in an unimpressive week 1: none of its starters' performances in week 1 feel unsustainable, and positive regression from a great Houston D/ST seems likely. The team boasts a nice cadre of RBs in Todd Gurley, Tevin Coleman, Joe Mixon and Isaiah Crowell - the team looks built for future success in 2017 and beyond. Amari Cooper looks ready to breakout in 2017; additional WR depth could push TBP forward.

8. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 7 (down 1)
With a suspension to Zeke potentially entirely thrown out for 2017 and a star debut from Leonard Fournette in week 1, the Dakstreet Boys are staking their claim to the #1 dynasty backfield in the Ball and Chain league. The tandem are sure to deliver for years to come for the Dakstreet Boys, who now look to work on their WR corps in their quest for the top.

9. 4 Skin Turtleneck T-Shirts
Record: 1-0 | Last week: 10 (up 1)
The KHunt was thirsty to impress in week 1, and impress he did in shooting a big ole Kareem Pie in Walrus Fight to the tune of 45.1 points. He also set the NFL record for scrimmage yards in a rookie debut. Wow. However 144.46 PF (181.18 optimum), both 1st by far, seemingly occurred unsustainably. 45 points is obviously not going to be the norm, and neither is 23.8 from Austin Hooper nor 25 from the Ravens D/ST. Despite huge rookie production in the starting lineup and on the bench in Hunt, Mack and Kupp, 4STT seem likely victims of negative regression to the mean in 2017.

10. Walrus Fight
Record: 0-1 | Last week: 3 (down 7)
After talking a big game of high floors in week 1, Walrus Fight caked its collective fucking pants in week 1 to the tune of 69.64 PF (100.44 optimum), good for last in the league for both categories. With rushing TDs from Marcus Mariota and Devonta Freeman providing the only endzone grinding in the Walrus Fight starting lineup, we've had the pleasure now of seeing what happens when every god damn starter on a team gets donkey punched in the dick.

And on we go. The general unease caused by a down week 1 of fantasy football was not at all alleviated by week 2's antics. More injuries and more underwhelming star performances were the norm in week 2. Meanwhile in the Ball and Chain league, several teams weathered week 1 and output much better offerings in their week 2 matchups. Scoring for the whole league was up to 1,041.8 PF in week 2, up from 946.12 in week 1. The data set of team scores from week 2 had higher variance than week 1; scores were distributed further apart from one another than in week 1, where all but one game were very close. This is to be expected - as such close output is more often than not in the outlier range, week 2 is likely more typical of how we will see scores distributed the rest of the season. Onto the rankings!

1. The Poop Troop
Record: 2-0 | Last week: 1 (same) | PF: 199.88 (4th) | OPF: 254.98 (4th)
Followed up a solid-for-week-1 performance with a comfortable 101.94-78.72 victory over the Dakstreet Boys. Finished in the top half of scoring both weeks en route to two victories. However even #1 has lingering problems, with Jordan Howard perhaps not being the set it and forget it RB1 he was presumed to be, and Gronk's groin is always a big deal.

2. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 1-1 | Last week: 2 (same) | PF: 226.04 (2nd) | OPF: 266.7 (3rd)
The big winner of the game of the week - The Frothy Cocks edged and edged 4 Skin Turtleneck T-shirts, 132.76-132.52. While Jameis had a down week, great production was put forth by the rest of the starting lineup. If CJ Anderson can continue impress and occasionally post 29 pt games in Brian's flex spot, the defending champs will be tough to overthrow.

3. Quantum Baby
Record: 1-1 | Last week: 5 (up 2) | PF: 214.26 (3rd) | OPF: 240.16 (7th)
Rode Michael Crabtree's 3 TDs to huge 119.22-87.78 win over divisional rival Talkin Bout Practice?!. Anthony has displayed FF acumen over this young season to the tune of an unmatched 89.22% manager rating. Jordan Reed never not having a Q by his name of course is annoying, but as a whole Quantum Baby has so far mostly avoided the injury bug that's going around. I remain confident that Cam is going to deliver this season, starting next week against New Orleans.

4. 4 Skin Turtleneck T-Shirts
Record: 1-1 | Last week: 9 (up 5) | PF: 276.98 (1st) | OPF: 328.3 (1st)
I can no longer bury 4STT in the power rankings quagmire after 2 very impressive weeks of fantasy football. Tim far outpaces the league in both PF and OPF. Having the luxury of Aaron Rodgers is surely nice as a set it and forget it QB1, and his backfield duo paces the way for huge production. Kareem Hunt looks like an elite high end RB1, and Beast Mode has looked fantastic as well - I expect him to finish as a high end RB2 with weekly RB1 upside. Questions linger at both WR spots, flex, and TE, but Tim has a talented young bench to work with. Some clever sit/start plays would do a lot to keep 4STT in contention.

5. Boring Orgy
Record: 1-1 | Last week: 4 (down 1) | PF: 181.44 (6) | OPF: 269.16 (2nd)
The hits keep coming. Add Greg Olsen to the list of injured players suffered by Boring Orgy. Everybody pray for Melvin Gordon. If there is redemption here, it is in the 2nd ranked OPF - production is coming from unexpected places on Eric's bench. There is news that David Johnson could perhaps not be out as long as expected and make a "major" comeback per his own words. BO remains a dark horse contender if they can sneak into the playoffs and then unleash a healthy DJ.

6. Walrus Fight
Record: 1-1 | Last week: 10 (up 4) | PF: 189.14 (5th) | OPF: 248.14 (5th)
Was this positive regression to the mean or a dead cat bounce after week 1's dud? Beat Unstackable Cups 119.5-96.2 on the backs of Devonta Freeman and Ty Montgomery, who both got multiple TD opportunities against one another's teams on Sunday night. With tough WR matchups week in and week out, Walrus Fight will likely rely on big games from both Freeman and Monty going forward should they expect to contend in 2017.

7. Unstackable Cups
Record: 0-2 | Last week: 3 (down 4) | PF: 173.18 (9th) | OPF: 244.94 (6th)
Another underwhelming performance may be concerning for Unstackable Cups. The game of WR roulette continues into week 3, with injuries and duds making it difficult to start the correct WRs week in and week out. Meanwhile Jacquizz Rodgers is getting it done, giving Unstackable Cups legit RB production. With difficult tilts against the Frothy Cocks and Quantum Baby upcoming, Don is surely shifting into a win-at-all-costs strategy.

8. The Pessimistics
Record: 2-0 | Last week: 6 (down 2) | PF: 177.94 (8th) | OPF: 219.18 (8th)
Put together another win in week 2 with a narrow 88.14 - 85.02 win over Boring Orgy. The Pessimistics' output is 89.8 and 88.14 thus far; not setting the charts on fire, but consistent. The upside is there with Julio yet to explode, and explode he will. Who will be the first victim, Walrus Fight in week 3 perhaps?

9. Talkin Bout Practice?!
Record: 1-1 | Last Week: 7 (down 2) | PF: 180.92 (7th) | OPF: 213.72 (9th)
Is very close to The Pessimistics in production, yet the difference between the two is Julio's upside; TBP has many quality pieces, but they seem slightly less likely to lash out and drop 40 any given week on an unsuspecting opponent. TBP has matches against division rivals Boring and The Poop Troop in coming weeks before the league switches to inter-divisional play, two chances to climb the division 1 table.

10. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 0-2 | Last week: 8 (down 2) | PF: 168.14 (10th) | OPF: 208.54 (10th)
It's ironic that despite it looking likely that Zeke will sit zero games in 2017, Dakstreet Boys fall into the power rankings cellar. Zeke played his worst game as a pro in a week 2 cowboy beatdown delivered by the broncos. Things are looking up for the Dakstreet Boys, however. Dak and Zeke will surely bounce back; Derrick Henry is licking his chops on the Titans' depth chart. This 2017 FF season is young and there is plenty of time for anyone to make a move up the power rankings!

The season is in full swing and fantasy scoring is up again for the entire league, to 1045.9 (from 1041.8 in week 2). OPF for the league swung all the way up to 1369.2 (from 1288.58), so we should be scoring more but we're fucking up...Fantasy football is a bizarre mistress. Volatility has increased each week for the entire league scoring...aka, teams' scores are getting further and further apart each week. Shit's getting real, mates. Interdivisional madness and hellish bye weeks are almost upon us.

1. The Poop Troop
Record: 3-0 | Last week: 1 (same) | PF: 350.38 (2nd) | OPF: 438.88 (2nd)
Solidified the top spot with a massive 150.5-87.18 victory over Quantum Baby. With this big game, the team rises to 2nd in the league in both PF and OPF. Scoring is across the board; 3rd in QB pts, 4th in RB pts, 1st in WR pts and 2nd in TE pts. Fun fact: through the massive sample size of 3 weeks Tom's team has scored 350.38 pts with a standard deviation of 29.26, the second most volatile output in the league after Unstackable Cups' 29.62.

2. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 1-2 | Last week: 2 (same) | PF: 306.48 (4th) | OPF: 375.98 (6th)
After week 2's big win, The Frothy Cocks offered their lowest score yet in a 80.44-135.12 loss to previously underachieving Unstackable Cups. There's no cause for worry, though; every team is destined for several "floor" games each season and this feels like one. The Frothy Cocks face Walrus Fight in another big divisional bout in week 4 before the majority of the league switches to inter-divisional play beginning week 5.

3. Unstackable Cups
Record: 1-2 | Last week: 7 (up 4) | PF: 308.3 (3rd) | OPF: 408.96 (4th)
Unstackable Cups finally got the memo that the 2017 Ball and Chain League had begun and turned in a powerful 135-pt performance. The team centers its success around the 1st, 3rd, 12th, and 15th ranked WRs in the league, to go with some scrub ranked #29 named Odell. As posited in The Poop Troop's write-up, Unstackable Cups are the most volatile team thus far and their output is the least predictable.

4. 4 Skin Turtleneck T-shirts
Record: 1-2 | Last week: 4 (same) | PF: 370.22 (1st) | OPF: 465.42 (1st)
After beating the tar out of Walrus Fight in week 1, 4STT's luck abandoned them in weeks 2 and 3. A heartbreaking shootout in week 2 and uneven 93.24-96.92 loss to Dakstreet Boys in week 3 has dropped 4STT to a 1-2 record. Bummer bro. Still, they remain tops in the league in both PF and OPF thanks to huge efforts in the first two weeks. Is week 3 the concerning continuation of a downward trend from week 1 or merely a blip on the radar? Tune into Ball n Chain week 4 when 4STT will take on fellow division 2 side The Pessimistics.

5. Boring Orgy
Record: 2-1 | Last week: 5 (same) | PF: 292.34 (6th) | OPF: 409.78 (3rd)
Against all odds, Boring Orgy is finding the calm in the flames and delivering fantasy football success, winning the game of the week 110.9-109.26 over division 1 rival Talkin Bout Practice?!. Chris Thompson and Tarik Cohen have been revelations for Boring Orgy, and should shore up their RB questions in the wake up David Johnson's injury. Brandin Cooks is developing a repertoire with Tom Brady and should put up monster games in future weeks. Boring Orgy is legit.

6. Quantum Baby
Record: 1-2 | Last week: 3 (down 3) | PF: 301.44 (5th) | OPF: 357.94 (7th)
Duds from Cam Newton, Mike Gillislee, and Michael Crabtree left Quantum Baby in the losing column in week 3. While Gillislee will get his rushing TDs in the New England offense and Crabtree will bounce back after the entire Raiders' team fell flat, it might be time to be concerned about Cam. He looks hurt and/or lost, and is not a safe start at the moment.

7. Walrus Fight
Record: 2-1 | Last week: 6 (down 1) | PF: 285.46 (8th) | OPF: 383.04 (5th)
Scratched out a win against the previously unbeaten Pessimistics 96.32-86.02 in week 3. As the average team score in week 3 was 104.59, that makes 2 out of 3 weeks where Walrus Fight finished below the league average. Not the resume of a contender after the massive sample size of 3 weeks of fantasy football. Walrus Fight will aim higher in a big week 4 tilt against The Frothy Cocks before bye weeks begin in week 5.

8. Talkin Bout Practice?!
Record: 1-2 | Last week: 9 (up 1) | PF: 290.18 (7th) | OPF: 356.8 (8th)
Despite the stinging loss to Boring Orgy in week 3, TBP moves a spot up the power rankings. Todd Gurley's monster 3-TD burger feels like a breakthrough for the young runner, and Larry Fitzgerald showed that he's still got it against the Cowboys in week 3. Joe Mixon looks to appreciate in value as his usage increases in Cincinnati. TBP is trending up in week 4, and get their shot against #1 this week.

9. The Pessimistics
Record: 2-1 | Last week: 8 (down 1) | PF: 263.96 (10th) | OPF: 342.16 (9th)
Just an incredibly consistent team after 3 weeks - a standard deviation of 1.89 on 263.96 PF is off the charts. For reference, the league average team has a STDev of 18.9 - if such consistency is maintained, The Pessimistics are going to continue to beat teams that underperform and could very easily scratch out a spot in the playoffs.

10. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 1-2 | Last week: 10 (same) | PF: 265.06 (9th) | OPF: 324.06 (10th)
Wins by Unstackable Cups and Dakstreet Boys mean that everybody's got a win after 3 weeks, an encouraging thought for the league as a whole. 96.92 PF for the Dakstreet Boys in week 3 is the high mark for the squad in this young season, and they will intend to improve upon that in week 4 against Boring Orgy.

Blink and a quarter of the fantasy football season is over. Week 5 is here and so is the trickiness brought by bye weeks. We've got difficult strategies to ponder in coming weeks and the end of regular season standings will be bigly influenced by our ability to navigate these treacherous waters. Scoring was back down to 995.14 in week 4 with a stdev all the way down to 17.39, by far the lowest of the season - our scores are being sucked closer together by fantasy football succubi.

1. The Poop Troop
Record: 3-1 | Last week: 1 (same) | PF: 433 (2nd) | OPF: 541.9 (3rd)
Ball and Chain's #1 ranked team put forth its meagerest offering of the season and fell to surging Talkin Bout Practice 90.08-82.42. They finished 9th in PF and last in OPF for the week. Still, the team's output in PF and OPF has been generally very high if inconsistent, as 433 total points with a standard deviation of 29.4 leads the league in volatility.

2. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 2-2 | Last week: 2 (same) | PF: 422.56 (3rd) | OPF: 527.56 (5th)
Lady luck was in The Frothy Cocks' favor in week 4 as they topped injury-riddled Walrus Fight 116.08-105.14. Of course, 116 points was good for 3rd for the week and they certainly earned their victory with big games from Jameis Winston and Le'Veon Bell. Mike Evans and C.J. Anderson continue to produce, and all things told things look pretty swell for the squad going forward.

3. Quantum Baby
Record: 2-2 | Last week: 6 (up 3) | PF: 419.96 (4th) | OPF: 488.48 (8th)
Beat Unstackable Cups 118.52-101.88 on the backs of Lamar Miller and Manning the Lesser. Deshaun Watson's appearance in the Houston offense has been like the coming of the tide; all of the boats rise. The outlook for Houston players is trending up in my honest opinion. Quantum Baby continues to school the ball and chain league in manager rating with an exemplary 85.97%.

4. Unstackable Cups
Record: 1-3 | Last week: 3 (down 1) | PF: 410.18 (5th) | OPF: 551.88 (2nd)
Took an L and suffered the loss of Dalvin Cook to a season-ending ACL tear. Not the most fun week of fantasy football. The upside is always going to be there given the team's OPF numbers. Nonetheless 1-3 is not how one wants to start a season of ff and the squad needs a shot in the arm. Perhaps Carlos Hyde will be that shot in the arm.

5. Talkin Bout Practice
Record: 2-2 | Last week: 8 (up 3) | PF: 380.26 (8th) | OPF: 512.64 (6th)
Knocked off godzilla thanks to another huge game from Todd Gurley. Despite a slowish start, the team has scratched out a 2-2 record and is right where they want to be in the standings. 141.1 pts from RBs through 4 weeks leads the league, which shouldn't be too surprising as the group, led by Gurley, has led the way for TBP thus far.

6. Boring Orgy
Record: 2-2 | Last week: 5 (down 1) | PF: 361.28 (10th) | OPF: 541.14 (4th)
68.94 pts in a loss to Dakstreet Boys is the lowest score yet for 2017. Bollocks. Every starter save Russell Wilson had a bottom floor game which reaaaaaallllyyyy sucks, but at least they stayed healthy which is a big win for the ailing side. Curiously, the team's relatively high total OPF has an astonishingly low stdev of 4.5 - my translation: having lots of good players leads to having big days on one's bench.

7. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 2-2 | Last week: 10 (up 3) | PF: 385.74 (7th) | OPF: 469.92 (10th)
The three-headed hydra of Dak, Zeke, and Fournette (Leo?) delivered a big 120-pt win over Boring Orgy in week 4. Again, 2-2 is not such a bad place to be at this point and the Boys have a chance to shoot up the power rankings in coming weeks with difficult tilts against Quantum Baby, Unstackable Cups and The Frothy Cocks upcoming.

8. Walrus Fight
Record: 2-2 | Last week: 7 (down 1) | PF: 390.6 (6th) | OPF: 510.64 (7th)
Injuries in the first half for Marcus Mariota and Ty Montgomery are bad breaks and such is the nature of this violent sport we love to behold. All is not lost in wins and losses yet, but middling output after 4 weeks of football leaves the team seemingly in dire straits as we enter the bye-week-and-injury milieu of the season.

9. I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls
Record: 1-3 | Last week: 4 (down 5) | PF: 454.58 (1st) | OPF: 583.98 (1st)
Having the best statistical output in the league on paper has earned this unfortunate team a dubious 1-3 mark at the quarter mark of the season. The consecutive downward trend has got to be maddening after such an ostentatious beginning to the season. Naturally, the schedule gets no easier in coming weeks and we have here a squad that would love a win.

10. The Pessimistics
Record: 3-1 | Last week: 9 (down 1) | PF: 371 (9th) | OPF: 472.16 (9th)
Last place in the week 5 power rankings but exactly where they want to be in the standings. The squad will surely not apologize for winning low-output games in weeks 1 and 2, and put together their best game of the season with 107 pts in week 4. Hopkins is trending up, and Julio is surely due for positive regression to his expected output this season.

After 3 weeks of league scores expanding from one another, we have seen 2 consecutive weeks of them contracting back together; league scores had a standard deviation of 14.35 in week 5, the lowest of the season. This occurred despite league scoring staying basically stagnant at 998.9, barely up from 995.14 in week 4. What is the implication of this? Parity has hit Ball and Chain, brothers. 6 teams sit tied atop the league with a 3-2 record while last place is 2 games back at 1-4. The field is wide open at this point and imho the tiers are closer than ever.

1. The Poop Troop
Record: 3-2 | Last week: 1 (same) | PF: 532.38 (2nd) | OPF: 649.68 (5th)
The Ball and Chain league has been run amok by parity, beginning at the top with a two-game skid for #1. The Poop Troop stalled at the finish line and dropped a squeaker to Boring Orgy, 99.38-99.82. I'm not concerned by a dud from newly acquired Stefon Diggs, and Jay Cutler will hopefully, mercifully, have made his last start in annals of Ball and Chain history.

2. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 3-2 | Last week: 2 (same) | PF: 516.32 (4th) | OPF: 655.12 (4th)
Sidestepped the absence of CJ Anderson, Demaryius Thomas, and Coby Fleener on byes and beat fellow division 2 side The Pessimistics 93.76-86.2. You put this win in the books and move on. The Frothy Cocks move on to a 4-game stretch outside the division, where they will intend to position themselves nicely for the end-of-season divisional drama.

3. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 3-2 | Last week: 7 (up 4) | PF: 511.78 (5th) | OPF: 602.12 (9th)
Rocketing up the power rankings all the way from 10th as recently as week 4 is the hottest team in Ball and Chain. Dakstreet Boys led the league in scoring for a second consecutive week and stiff-armed divisional foe Quantum Baby 126.04-107.2, including a stellar 95% manager rating for the week. The team will be hamstrung by byes in week 6, making their bid to climb atop the power rankings more difficult.

4. Quantum Baby
Record: 2-3 | Last week: 3 (down 1) | PF: 527.16 (3rd) | OPF: 604.38 (8th)
The apparent resurgence of Cam Newton's old self has got to be a breath of relief. Taking an L despite a very respectable 107 isn't the best way to enter interdivisional play but the squad will intend to recover nonetheless despite bye weeks for AJ Green and LeSean McCoy.

5. Boring Orgy
Record: 3-2 | Last week: 6 (up 1) | PF: 461.1 (8th) | OPF: 668.32 (3rd)
The victor of week 5's game of the week has no intention of succumbing to injuries. Melvin Gordon continues to dazzle, and Chris Thompson has only been bottled up by KC's stingy defense. The team will intend to break its oscillatory W-L-W-L-W pattern in week 6 against Walrus Fight.

6. Unstackable Cups
Record: 1-4 | Last week: 4 (down 2) | PF: 498.6 (6th) | OPF: 686.32 (2nd)
In my opinion the most fascinating team to cover thus far in Ball and Chain 2017. Talented, volatile, and underperforming, the team made big time moves in week 5 - they acquired Kareem Hunt and Carlos Hyde and gave up Odell Beckham Jr and Stefon Diggs in separate transactions. With the moves, the team completely changes its build from WR-centric to one more balanced. The pieces are in place for Unstackable Cups to make its way up the power rankings in 2017.

7. Walrus Fight
Record: 3-2 | Last week: 8 (up 1) | PF: 495.92 (7th) | OPF: 626.76 (6th)
Pieced together a magnificent bullshit week 5 win over Talkin Bout Practice 105.32-77.62 thanks to another sasquatch performance by the Jaguars D/ST. After 5 weeks, the team's MVPs are Zach Ertz, Stephen Gostkowski and the Jags D...now that's sexy fantasy football. The bye weeks and injuries remain tricky for the squad through week 8.

8. Talkin Bout Practice
Record: 2-3 | Last week: 5 (down 3) | PF: 457.88 (9th) | OPF: 623.2 (7th)
Todd Gurley finally got bottled up and the results were not positive for TBP. The team is going to live and die by their RB crew, which may have been strengthened by a very strong showing from Jerick McKinnon. TBP faces The Frothy Cocks in week 6 in an attempt to get back to .500.

9. I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls
Record: 2-3 | Last week: 9 (same) | PF: 569.72 (1st) | OPF: 727.12 (1st)
What should have been the beginning of something beautiful instead began in despair as Odell Beckham Jr was acquired in a blockbuster trade for Kareem Hunt and lost to season-ending injury in the ensuing game. While the loss likely diminishes little of the team's long-term dynasty potential, its 2017 aspirations have taken a beating. IWWaT2B takes on The Poop Troop in week 6 in a nothing to lose proposition.

10. The Pessimistics
Record: 3-2 | Last week: 10 (same) | PF: 457.2 (10th) | OPF: 590.7 (10th)
Big Ben played the worst game of his career in week 5 against the Jaguars, curiously at home where he is typically very good. The dud left The Pessimistics in the losing column for the week, a place it has not been accustomed to in 2017. Still, Duke Johnson has been a revelation, and Deandre Hopkins is trending way up. Julio Jones has still yet to hit big this season and that is encouraging for the squad. They take their winning record into a week 6 clash against Quantum Baby.

Six weeks in the books and here we are at the vertex of our season, where trends are starting to form and make things...perhaps...a little bit more predictable? Several teams have already staked their claim as being contenders and a few others hope to make their move. We've got an exciting week of fantasy football coming up in week 7 as we move along through the midpoint of the season.

1. The Poop Troop
Record: 4-2 | Last week: 1 (same) | PF: 645.82 (2nd) | OPF: 774.02 (5th)
Maintained their perch atop the Ball and Chain power rankings by dispatching iwwat2b in a 113.44-79.12 final. Have finished above the league median in scoring in 5 of 6 weeks, save an 82-pt dud in week 4. With Antonio Brown and Rob Gronkowski pacing the way for the squad with 27.5 and 23.3 pts respectively, The Poop Troop looks likely to stay on top for the foreseeable future.

2. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 4-2 | Last week: 3 (up 1) | PF: 612.96 (4th) | OPF: 731.36 (7th)
Savage! Two meaningless garbage time tosses by bye week fill-in Jacoby Brissett in the waning garbage time seconds of Monday Night Football left Dakstreet Boys the 101.18-100.46 victors over Unstackable Cups. This was only made possible by an also pointless 72-yard touchdown run by Derrick Henry, he of Dakstreet Boys' bench. Teamwork. The winners of 4 straight after an 0-2 start, Dakstreet Boys have a week 7 showdown with #3 The Frothy Cocks.

3. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 3-3 | Last week: 2 (down 1) | PF: 603.76 (5th) | OPF: 789.8 (4th)
Suffered a beatdown at the hands of Talkin Bout Practice thanks to a Jameis Winston 1st half injury and a complete dud from CJ Anderson. The numbers still look pretty good, as does the starting lineup, presuming Winston can come back healthy in week 7. The team's output the last two weeks isn't where they want it to be (93 and 87 pts), so they'll aim higher in week 7's showdown.

4. Boring Orgy
Record: 4-2 | Last week: 5 (up 1) | PF: 577.34 (9th) | OPF: 796.76 (3rd)
Beat Walrus Fight 116.24-98.92 thanks to another huge 31-pt day from Melvin Gordon. In David Johnson's absence, the young back had started slowly but has now worked his way up to rb #4 in our league, 8th among all players. With a favorable record and great OPF numbers week after week, the team is on track to contend in the midst of injuries upon injuries.

5. Talkin Bout Practice?!
Record: 3-3 | Last week: 8 (up 3) | PF: 578.1 (8th) | OPF: 764.02 (6th)
Jumps back up the power rankings with a blowout 120.22-87.44 win over The Frothy Cocks. Their output was good for 1st in week 6, so congrats to Kevin for winning the week his first time as owner! TBP takes on division-2-leading and bye-week-plagued The Pessimistics in week 7, and they'll surely try to capitalize on their opportunity.

6. The Pessimistics
Record: 4-2 | Last week: 10 (up 4) | PF: 574.58 (10th) | OPF: 714.32 (9th)
Played to their record and delivered a season best 117.38-101.16 victory over Quantum Baby. Golden Tate and DeAndre Hopkins are on bye in week 7, so that will make things interesting as they make their bid to defy my power rankings and continue their winning ways.

7. Quantum Baby
Record: 2-4 | Last week: 4 (down 3) | PF: 628.32 (3rd) | OPF: 713.34 (10th)
Having LeSean McCoy and AJ Green on bye the same week is a bad beat and Baby understandably dropped the match. They'll both be back in week 7 and needed if they intend to win against I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls. Rivalry week is coming up for some teams in Ball and Chain and I expect this to be a fun matchup.

8. Walrus Fight
Record: 3-3 | Last week: 7 (down 1) | PF: 594.84 (7th) | OPF: 728.58 (8th)
Had another middling performance in week 6 but I can mansplain that away because Dez Bryant and Doug Baldwin were on bye. Nobody's on bye for the squad so they have no excuses in a yuge, titanic, very big match against The Poop Troop in week 7. Fun fact: Walrus Fight swept The Poop Troop 3-0 in 2016.

9. Unstackable Cups
Record: 1-5 | Last week: 6 (down 3) | PF: 599.06 (6th) | OPF: 826.18 (2nd)
Suffered just a plain spooky loss in week 6 and it gets better from here: they play Boring Orgy and The Poop Troop the next 2 weeks. Their roster is one of the best in the league as demonstrated by the team's OPF, so we've got a rock/hard place situation here. Either the wins start coming with the rain or things get far stranger from here.

10. I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls
Record: 2-4 | Last week: 9 (down 1) | PF: 648.84 (1st) | OPF: 830.1 (1st)
The loss of OBJ and ARod in consecutive weeks illustrates how maddening fantasy football can be to the devoted. After huge success at the rookie draft and a terrific start to the season, the ill-fated team finds itself down on its luck for the time being. They've got nothing left to lose at this point but plenty of attention is surely being paid to the future, what with IDP drafts and expansion teams looming on the horizon of our league.

Just when you thought it was dead, a zombie ate it and now we have the undead Ball and Chain power rankings. What is Dez may never die, but comes back stranger.         We've gone through some strange shit in 2017 and our league scoring is no different; our output is very close, fellas. Like streams crossing close. Our collective 8,115.3 points scored by 10 teams through 8 weeks has a standard deviation of 19.47; that's small; that means that our teams are very close together. Onto the the juicy stuff.

1. Boring Orgy
Record: 6-2 | Last week: 4 (up 3) | PF: 843.66 (1st) | OPF: 1,084.32 (2nd)
The hottest team in Ball and Chain and currently on a hell of an ascending run: 68-99-116-123-143 pts scored since week 4 has got to be a dynamite feeling. Boring Orgy has carved up division 2 save The Pessimistics in week 2 and get a chance to move to 4-1 in non-divisional games in week 9 against I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls. 2017 breakouts Chris Thompson and Alvin Kamara have been sensational to date and have eased the loss of David Johnson considerably. Ball and Chain is on notice with a new #1.

2. The Poop Troop
Record: 5-3 | Last week: 1 (down 1) | PF: 830.2 (2nd) | OPF: 1,003.9 (6th)
Got taken down a notch on the totem pole by Walrus Fight in week 7 but bounced back nicely in week 8 against Unstackable Cups 111.36-96.7. The displaced former #1 have a truly savage bye week sitch in week 9 with Jordan Howard, Antonio Brown, Stefon Diggs and Rob Gronkowski unavailable against The Pessimistics. Manufacturing a win there would be quite luxurious as our diabolical 4-team Ball and Chain PLAYOFF OF FUCKING DOOM is no picnic to qualify for.

3. Walrus Fight
Record: 5-3 | Last week: 8 (up 5) | PF: 817.48 (4th) | OPF: 1,003.78 (7th)
Followed up a verisimilitudinal triumph over The Poop Troop with a 103.92-102.76 cluster win over Quantum Baby. The box score will chalk that one up to Jordan Reed being a glass dragon of a tight end. WF pushed their chips in the middle a bit more as they acquired Mark Ingram and took out a second mortgage on the future.

4. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 4-4 | Last week: 3 (down 1) | PF: 803.42 (9th) | OPF: 1,039.96 (4th)
The defending champs have been a bit uneven in recent weeks and they have a 4-4 record to show for it. There is uncertainty surrounding Jay Ajayi regarding his trade to Philly at the NFL trade deadline; Le'Veon Bell is on bye in week 9. There are some unsettling developments to be sure, but the squad has been no more inconsistent than anyone else and their OPF remains high. They trail Walrus Fight by only a game in division 2. The divisional races are on.

5. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 5-3 | Last week: 2 (down 3) | PF: 804.44 (7th) | OPF: 972.18 (8th)
Winners of 5 of 6 and would make the playoffs if the season ended today as the second wild card. Meanwhile the Zeke soap opera is in full force and it now looks likely that he may end up serving his 6-game suspension after all; this would obviously be a huge hindrance to Dakstreet Boys' contention. Nevertheless Leo is coming off bye and should be ready to go in week 9; Dak will likely shoulder more usage with Zeke out. Their bid for a playoff spot is still in the ether.

6. Talking Bout Practice?!
Record:4-4 | Last week: 5 (down 1) | PF: 807.04 (6th)| OPF: 1,017 (5th)
Gave The Pessimistics a drubbing and lost a close one to I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls since we've last checked in with TBP. Also since then, Amari Cooper fucking blew up against the Chiefs and Jerick McKinnon put the Vikings backfield on notice. The squad will miss McKinnon, Isaiah Crowell, and Kyle Rudolph in week 9 against super-dangerous-but-snakebitten Unstackable Cups and hope to improve to 5-4.

7. Quantum Baby
Record: 2-6 | Last week: 7 (same) | PF: 812.92 (5th) | OPF: 957.2 (9th)
Losers of 4 straight, including the last 2 by about 1 pt each. Still the team is sufficiently talented to contend and I'm placing them here despite their record because  they would legitimately threaten to win the ship should they manage to make the big dance. Much like last year, QB is 0-3 in "close" games and 0-3 as well in "luck" games per flea flicker, so lady luck has not fellated Quantum Baby yet in 2017.

8. The Pessimistics
Record: 4-4 | Last week: 6 (down 2) | PF: 766.8 (10th) | OPF: 949.82 (10th)
Also on a skid, The Pessimistics have fallen to 4-4 after a 3-1 start. Yet they remain but a game back from the division 2 lead, and have one fairly goddamn massive reason to feel confident, that being DeAndre Hopkins. He has been bananas crazy since Deshaun Watson got the start, including 224 and a touch last week. Hopkins n Julio could be WR #1-2 ROS and that alone could carry The Pessimistics to the playoffs.

9. I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls
Record: 4-4 | Last week: 10 (up 1) | PF: 825.1 (3rd) | OPF: 1,048.36 (3rd)
Unloaded veterans Matthew Stafford and Mark Ingram in recent weeks and added to their draft pick shares. Despite a competitive 4-4 record and great cumulative stats thus far, IWWAT2B is clearly making moves for the future. With a litany of rookies on the roster and draft picks stocked up, the team is ready for the future.

10. Unstackable Cups
Record: 1-7 | Last week: 9 (down 1) | PF: 804.24 (8th) | OPF: 1,112.08 (1st)
Proof that truth is always stranger than fiction. The bottom line is that Unstackable Cups has an incredible amount of talent. That has amounted to earning the dubious title of best 1-7 team in Ball and Chain history. With a playoff spot likely off the table for the team, they step into the role as a fucking heavyweight spoiler. It would be just iike fantasy football for the team to start producing dubs now that they've dug themselves into the gravity well that is the goddamned #10 spot in the Ball and Chain power rankings.

It's week 10 boys.  
The wheat is beginning to separate from the chaff. Divisional races are definitely on and so is the resulting wildcard chase. At this point we've got 7 teams left in contention by my count, with only 4 playoff spots to go around. Week 10's matchups are ripe with intrigue, as you're about to find out...

1. Boring Orgy
Record: 7-2 | Last week: 1 (same) | PF: 956.88 (1st) | OPF: 1,209.7 (2nd)
Absolutely decimated I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls  113.22-47.2 and kept the #1 spot. After 9 weeks, the squad has finished below the weekly league median only 2 times. Their neat little ascending sequence of scores has sadly come to an end, but there's not a whole lot more to say at this point; Boring Orgy have got to be considered the favorites to win the championship at this point.

2. The Poop Troop
Record: 5-4 | Last week: 2 (same) | PF: 954.32 (2nd) | OPF: 1,141.94 (4th)
Lost a bit of a heartbreaker to the Pessimistics 124.12-136.06 - with their aforementioned bye week hell taken into account, this was an impressive week from them and they swallow an L for it. After a 3-0 start, TPT has gone 2-4 - that ain't gonna get it done the next few weeks and they know it. Travis Kelce is their only significant contributor on bye in week 10 so they'll need all the horses they have for a pretty damn big tilt against Boring Orgy. This week's match will likely play a huge part in shaping division 1's seeding come playoff time!

3. Talking Bout Practice?!
Record: 5-4 | Last week: 6 (up 3) | PF: 917.58 (3rd) | OPF: 1,137.54 (5th)
Bounced back to winning ways in week 9 by beating now radioactive Unstackable Cups 110.54-94.48. Over the last 4 weeks, TBP has finished 1st-1st-7th-4th in league scoring - not a bad distribution. They meet Walrus Fight in week 10 in what is the final non-divisional game of the season for each team. Both would love a win to place them a bit closer to that ever-lusted-after playoff berth.

4. Walrus Fight
Record: 6-3 | Last week: 3 (down 1) | PF: 912.08 (4th) | OPF: 1,118.3 (7th)
Crapped out an utterly unimpressive 94.6-84.06 win over Dakstreet Boys. Week 10 is going to be a bit tougher as they will face Talking Bout Practice with Derek Carr, Alshon Jeffery and Zach Ertz on bye, as well as the usual bumps and bruises that may prevent Jimmy Graham and Dez Bryant from playing.............A win isn't live or die at this point but it would be huge to re-emerge into the closing divisional games on a 4-0 run.

5. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 5-4 | Last week: 4 (down 1) | PF: 900.68 (6th) | OPF: 1,162.32 (3rd)
Delivered a bit of a must-win 95.26-79.94 over Quantum Baby but they're probably not ecstatic about 81 and 95 pts the past two weeks. They partake in yet another intriguing week 10 matchup against fellow 5-4 division 2 side The Pessimistics. They'll be without Carson Wentz, Jay Ajayi, and Buck Allen on bye and Mike Evans on a one game suspension. It's gut check time for The Frothy Cocks.

6. The Pessimistics
Record: 5-4 | Last week: 8 (up 2) | PF: 902.86 (5th) | OPF: 1,085.88 (8th)
Their commanding week 9 victory over The Poop Troop was easily the best of the season for The Pessimistics. They are comparatively much closer to 100% availability than The Frothy Cocks are in week 10 and that advantage will obviously be a major factor. A win over the defending champs would easily top this week's high. Their hot start is paying dividends.

7. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 5-4 | Last week: 5 (down 2) | PF: 888.5 (9th) | OPF: 1,078.76 (9th)
Have dropped 2 of 3 immediately after a hot 4-0 stretch. They scored only 85 during the win as well so that's not exactly encouraging either. Nevertheless they look to improve to a very healthy 6-4 in week 10 with a winnable draw against Quantum Baby. The schedule gets no easier after that with games against The Poop Troop and Boring Orgy remaining so Dakstreet Boys will want to ride Leo and Zeke to victory in week 10 if contention is in the cards in 2017.

8. Quantum Baby
Record: 2-7 | Last week: 7 (down 1) | PF: 892.86 (8th) | OPF: 1,064.82 (10th)
Despite an ongoing 5 game losing streak and losses despite finishing 3rd-4th-4th in league scoring, they're but the 3rd most woebegone team in Ball and Chain. Playoffs seem off the table now at 2-7 so they've unfortunately got to keep a more holistic view of their team now going forward in 2017. With a ton of talent on the roster and two 2018 1st rd picks, they'll have a chance to put on a show in 2018.

9. I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls
Record: 4-5 | Last week: 9 (same) | PF: 872.3 (10th) | OPF: 1,135.56 (6th)
Got sonned by Boring Orgy and that's gonna happen sometimes, like they sonned Walrus Fight in week 1. The process is ongoing and as discussed in previous installments of the BALL AND CHAIN POWER RANKINGS tm   , iwwat2b's secret is that they're always holistic.

10. Unstackable Cups
Record: 1-8 | Last week: 10 (same) | PF: 898.72 (7th) | OPF: 1,212.9 (1st)
At this point Unstackable Cups has transcended fantasy football and become postmodern art. They're matched up against also snakebitten #9 and #8 in the next 2 weeks so if wins are going to come, now is as good as ever. They close the season against 3 knuckleheads trying to make the playoffs so the opportunities for spooky performance art will be plentiful as we move towards Ball and Chain 2017's big finish. Almost there. Keep going.

We've got only 4 weeks of fantasy football left, and 2 more should we be so lucky. It's looking more and more likely that Boring Orgy is going to win division 1, having a 3 game lead with 4 to play. That leaves all of those 5-5 division 1 teams in quite the wild card chase if I might say so myself, fellas. Division 2 is a bit more opaque at this point with 3 teams legitimately duking it out for the automatic playoff bid. The remaining two join the aforementioned wild card battle royale. It's on in week 11.

1. Boring Orgy
Record: 8-2 | Last week: 1 (same) | PF: 1,062.7 (1st) | OPF: 1,344.42 (1st)
It's kind of scary to play out the thought experiment where Boring Orgy doesn't suffer the early season onslaught of injuries they did. Ball and Chain's undisputed #1 has won six straight and intend to make it seven against a Zeke-less Dakstreet Boys in week 11.

2. Walrus Fight
Record: 7-3 | Last week: 4 (up 2) | PF: 1,039.94 (2nd) | OPF: 1,294.36 (3rd)
Having reached a season-high #2 in the power rankings, Walrus Fight is on a four game winning streak of their own. WF hit a perfect storm of touchdowns in week 10, however they enjoyed a bit of a Pyrrhic victory as Devonta Freeman suffered his second concussion of the season. The team still hasn't finished 1st in weekly scoring, which is a definite knock when sizing up this year's aspiring playoff teams. Up next is fellow division 2 contender The Frothy Cocks, who desperately seek a win....

3. The Pessimistics
Record: 6-4 | Last week: 6 (up 3) | PF: 1,038.4 (3rd) | OPF: 1,224.52 (7th) finished Finished 1st in scoring the last two weeks; The Pessimistics are rounding nicely into form as we cross into the closing act of the 2017 season. They sit in a great spot at 6-4 and have a very winnable match against rebuilding I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls in week 11, although they'll be without the services of stud pass-catching rookie back Christian McCaffrey on bye.

4. The Poop Troop
Record: 5-5 | Last week: 2 (down 2) | PF: 1,026.16 (4th) | OPF: 1,225.36 (6th)
Things have gotten a bit murky for The Poop Troop. With Boring Orgy likely all but locking up the division 1 crown with their next victory, TPT has entered the wild card chase. Week 3's hefty 150 burger seems some sweet dream now that there's a 2-5 stretch between then and now. They take their considerable firepower into a pretty damn important week 11 tilt against fellow 5-5 division 1 foe Talking Bout Practice.

5. The Frothy Cocks
Record: 5-5 | Last week: 5 (same) | PF: 1,002.76 (7th) | OPF: 1,280.3 (4th)
Pulling off the regular season sweep of The Pessimistics in week 10 would've been nice but instead they settled for the 1-1 draw. They'll alternately try to sweep Walrus Fight. Jack Doyle and Devin Funchess are on bye but they're mostly back firing at 100% and should be primed for a big fantasy day.

6. Talking Bout Practice?!
Record: 5-5 | Last week: 3 (down 2) | PF: 1,012.08 (5th) | OPF: 1,268.26 (5th)
TBP sits squarely in the middle of the wild card hunt at 5-5 and have ripe opportunities the next two weeks with matches against fellow 5-5 teams The Poop Troop and Dakstreet Boys. It's that fantastic situation where every team in the wild card hunt desperately needs a win every week and when they play one another, the results tend to not disappoint.

7. Dakstreet Boys
Record: 5-5 | Last week: 7 (same) | PF: 948.04 (9th) | OPF: 1,157.64 (10th)
After sitting pretty with their corner office at 5-3, the Boys have dropped two in a row and finally got hit by the Zeke suspension bomb. With 5 teams in the mix for only 2 available wild card bids, they really can't afford an 0-3 slide; that's easier said than done as they face #1 in week 11.

8. I'd Wonder Weasels and Their 2 Balls
Record: 4-6 | Last week: 9 (up 1) | PF: 947.88 (10th) | OPF: 1,222.14 (8th)
They're not yet mathematically eliminated and for that they earn the final spot in the world of the living. Week 11 could get silly with an upset of The Pessimistics; however they are surely massive underdogs to stay alive another week in Ball and Chain 2017.

9. Quantum Baby
Record: 3-7 | Last week: 8 (down 1) | PF: 1,005.02 (6th) | OPF: 1,190.66 (9th)
Finally hit victory town after a stinky 0-5 stretch and absolutely blasted Dakstreet Boys. Unfortunately fleaflicker has marked QB and Unstackable Cups for death with 4 weeks to play; rip their 2017 championship hopes and dreams. They died so that ours may live.

10. Unstackable Cups
Record: 2-8 | Last week: 10 (same) | PF: 988.36 (8th) | OPF: 1,328.28 (2nd)
Busted an 0-6 slump of their own and beat IWWAT2B. One slumpbuster will be back to losing in week 11 as they face one another before Unstackable Cups aspires to play spoiler against The Pessimistics, The Frothy Cocks and Walrus Fight.